The Shocking Truth About Why People Don’t Want to Work With You
(And How to Fix It Fast)
Let’s rip the Band-Aid off: If people aren’t excited to work with you, it’s not their problem—it’s yours.
That’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. But here’s the thing: Success isn’t just about working hard, having the best product, or crushing your goals. It’s about people. And if you’re burning bridges, missing cues, or not showing up in a way that builds trust and respect, it doesn’t matter how smart or skilled you are.
So, why might people be steering clear of you? Let’s break it down.
1. Your Reputation Speaks Before You Do
Think of your reputation like a shadow—it follows you everywhere, whether you notice it or not. Every interaction you have with a client, team member, or even your Uber driver adds to it.
Here’s the kicker: People talk. And in the business world, your reputation can open doors—or slam them shut.
How to Fix It:
Deliver on Promises: Nothing tanks trust faster than overpromising and underdelivering. Do what you say you’ll do, when you say you’ll do it.
Stay Consistent: Be the same person in every room. Authenticity builds trust, while inconsistency creates doubt.
Ask for Feedback: Want to know what people are saying about you? Ask. It’s better to hear it directly than to wonder.
2. You’re Talking, Not Listening
Let’s be real: How often do you listen just to respond? Most of us are guilty of this. But when you focus on talking over listening, you’re sending one clear message: “I care more about me than you.”
And guess what? Nobody wants to work with someone who only hears themselves.
How to Fix It:
Practice Active Listening: Pause before responding. Repeat what you heard to confirm understanding.
Ask Better Questions: Replace “What can you do for me?” with “How can I support you?”
Be Present: Put your phone down, make eye contact, and show people you value their time.
3. You’re Focused on Transactions, Not Relationships
If you’re only connecting with people when you need something, you’re doing it wrong. Relationships—real, meaningful ones—are the lifeblood of success. People want to work with those they trust, not those who only show up when it’s convenient.
How to Fix It:
Add Value Without Expectations: Share resources, offer advice, or lend a hand without expecting something in return.
Check In Regularly: Send a quick “How’s it going?” text or email to someone in your network without asking for anything.
Celebrate Others’ Wins: Recognize milestones, accomplishments, or even small victories. It shows you’re paying attention.
4. You’re Afraid to Own Your Mistakes
We all screw up—it’s part of being human. But if you’re dodging accountability or sweeping mistakes under the rug, you’re eroding trust faster than you can say “my bad.”
Here’s the deal: Owning your mistakes isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength. It shows you’re self-aware, mature, and willing to grow.
How to Fix It:
Acknowledge the Mistake: Don’t sugarcoat it. Say, “I messed up, and here’s how I’ll make it right.”
Learn from It: Reflect on what went wrong and put a plan in place to prevent it from happening again.
Move Forward: Fix the issue, apologize, and then let it go. Don’t dwell on it or let it define you.
5. You’re Failing to Communicate Clearly
You might think you’re being clear, but if your messages leave people confused, frustrated, or overwhelmed, you’re creating unnecessary friction. And in business, friction kills momentum.
How to Fix It:
Simplify Your Messages: Stick to the point and avoid jargon.
Set Clear Expectations: Whether it’s a deadline, deliverable, or meeting agenda, make sure everyone knows what’s expected.
Follow Up: Don’t assume people understood—confirm it. A quick follow-up can save a lot of headaches.
The Big Shift: From Transactional to Transformational
If you’re noticing a theme here, it’s this: Success comes from connection. It’s not just about what you can get—it’s about what you can give. People want to work with leaders who inspire them, support them, and treat them like partners, not pawns.
Ask yourself:
Am I building people up, or tearing them down?
Am I creating opportunities for others, or only for myself?
Am I someone I’d want to work with?
Final Thought
As Reid Hoffman, co-founder of LinkedIn, famously said:
"No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose to a team."
This week, challenge yourself to be the kind of leader people can’t wait to work with. Build bridges, own your mistakes, and focus on relationships over transactions.
Remember, it’s not just about doing business—it’s about building a legacy.
Here’s to better connections and bigger wins!